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hymns for the scorned

by awakebutstillinbed

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1.
i stand transfixed by the mirror the world comes to a halt my heart guarding itself why can't i just let it go? their lives in standard flow when you leave why can't i follow? "sad", you said. you don't know well i would rather die than have their words like phantoms by my side vacant memories of everything i left behind so i'll do what i'm told just please please don't leave me alone you say, "come on, let your fear go" but i don't seek solace in a lie i felt their eyes see through to my true nature they said, "why? why would you try to run from your true nature?" i can't learn to love this this is pointless
2.
sure, let's go do it all again in the last dive of our innocence 'cause while nothing that could lie within will ever make a difference i know you won't find that convincing so i could try to stop before i start or i could make it shine before it shatters but when all the words just fall apart will it even matter that i can only stand to keep my heart quarantined inside me? there's no photographs of us and i don't know what you see but i'm not worth it to love 'cause it seems to me they would all say you're a long way from the light and i'd rather hide than be cast aside even if i understand why and know it's right so when you hold me tonight i'll keep it as a memory with no photographs of us i want to know your heartbeat but all i feel is your touch i'm breathing yeah i'm breathing naturally the door locks on this side and i am never coming out you said "come on, let it go" but all i wanted was to be unknown so far down the rabbit hole it'd be easier to be alone cause love dies but maybe it's enough to let a moment just take you for a ride it's cold you're better on your own but wherever you are i hope you know i felt something
3.
ask and you shall receive bounty and splendor spring forth from the center of all of your beliefs a godsend to end all the hardship and tender an era of lasting peace ceasefire to put an end to these winter stomachs and gnashing teeth as lush crops erupt from the loam ever indebted to this tool you've bestowed it's never going back you're never going back seraphim split wide those heavy feathers did cry all the way down like razorblades and blinded me the sheen hit my eyes and tore in to me reopened old scars and manufacturing marks so comes the fall a major distraction from all that you lost a bleeding attraction to garnish the walls in this house of indiscretion seraphim split wide those heavy feathers did cry all the way down like razorblades and blinded me the sheen hit my eyes and tore in to me reopened old scars and manufacturing marks and i'd pick your tears right out of the rain so afraid of falling down you never stopped to think about how badly this would all play out
4.
your cuirass is dented it's seeping dripping wet the love you spilled will drown will drown every nest crimson droplets flow vanity in tow sate the gaping maw that opened just for you opened just for you ember flows so saccharine downing every part of me the spoils of a bitter harvest drown out every hope i've seen your cuirass is dented it's seeping it's wet the love that you spilled will drown every nest crimson droplets flow with vanity in tow celestial beacon illuminates the path brittle bone cries out for fleshen graft swap out eternities on adopted wings zero sum of the life you game hallowed choir mourns the death of nine rings lonely dirge extinguishes burgeoning flame a stolen halo digs a shallow grave blackened blood drops to irrigate this soil you toil and tumble down in this garden a foil a jagged crown no longer golden the icon solemnly weeps.

credits

released June 10, 2022

awakebutstillinbed is:
shannon taylor - guitar, vocals
ally garcia - bass, backing vocals
brendan gibson - guitar, keyboard, backing vocals
erik lobo - drums, backing vocals

songs by shannon. arrangements by shannon, brendan, ally & lobo.
harmonies on 'ride' by saoirse alesandro from star99.

recorded by ryan perras at district in san jose (summer 2021).
mastered by jack shirley.

For Your Health is:
Hayden Rodriguez - Vocals, Lyrics
Damian Chacon - Guitars, Vocals
Johnny Deborde - Bass
Mike Mapes - Drums
Rosa O. Delgado - Guitars

Produced and engineered by Chris Teti at Silver Bullet Studios
Mixed by Chris Teti and Greg Thomas
Mastered by Jack Shirley

Art by Simona Morales
Art direction by Hayden Rodriguez

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awakebutstillinbed San Jose, California

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