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lyrics

why not? what am i waiting for? what do i think is going to happen that hasn't happened before? i'm lost, what am i doing here? i already know what's going to happen so why waste another year? i don't know. is there hidden beauty in this life? i don't know. do i really want to live to see my friends die? i don't think so. i wish i could be a believer, but i know it's gonna stay like this forever until i go.

i worked all week, spent my spare time staring at screens. i couldn't sleep, i couldn't remember any of my dreams. i couldn't bear to see the things inside of me, i want to be who i was at age thirteen again. now all the girls i used to know can't come unless they're being choked. if our future's bought and sold, is growing up just getting old? cause now all the boys that i knew won't look at me unless i'm nude. they said it's catching up to you, time is catching up to you.

all the girls i used to know can't breathe unless they're being choked, so if our future's bought and sold, can someone tell me where to go? cause now all the boys i used to see all think there's something wrong with me. i want to be who i used to be, i want life with intimacy, but it was taken from me. is there hidden beauty in this life? do i want to live to see my friends die? why can't i be a believer? is it gonna be like this forever?

why not? what am i waiting for? what do i think is going to happen that hasn't happened before? i don't know.

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from stay who you are, released December 25, 2020

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awakebutstillinbed San Jose, California

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