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about

additional vocals by adam demirjian

lyrics

if you don't
know how to fix me by now
will you ever?
'cause i can't keep on
having the same fights
no i can't
live like this
i finish your sentences and you
talk right through me
and we hear what we already believe
and shut down

with your high reasoning
you've committed what is wrong with me
to your own happenstance memory

it's been years
since i blacked out at school
and i woke up
in a drunken adolescent daze
in a hospital bed
you were standing in the back
your eyes heavy
through the fog in my head
and to this day i'm in that bed

with the data on hand
you've drawn a diagnostic diagram
of the faults of my brain in the sand

i know i'm a crazy waste of space to society
but i don't want that to be what you think about me
i say that i don't care but i wish you were proud of me
i've worked so hard to change this much
will it ever be enough?

cause i told my past to
a woman on an airplane
and it felt like a whole different world
cause i couldn't connect
to the person i was describing
as if i, long ago, wasn't me

credits

from chaos takes the wheel and i am a passenger, released October 20, 2023

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awakebutstillinbed Berkeley, California

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